Romance in Friendship

How Not to Fall in Love with Your Best Friend – Subtle Signs To Keep Emotions In Check

Friends are the persons in our lives who understand us and share common interests with us. Your best friend is with you in all your ups and downs of life, and you might share a great rapport with each other. 

Your bond with your best friend grows stronger as you spend more time with them and share various interests and experiences with them. They are the ones who support you and help you when the need arises. With such a strong connection and bonding, it is normal that you might start having feelings for them.

This situation is tricky, and if you feel like you should not pursue it further, then this article will help you answer the question of how not to fall in love with your best friend.

Tips on how not to fall in love with your best friend

Wondering how not to fall in love with your best friend? Dive in because we got you covered!

1. Define your friendship with them

Think about the fact that your friendship is very valuable to you and the reason for it. Especially if the other person doesn’t harbor any romantic feelings towards you, it may lead to jealousy and clouded judgment when they talk about their other relationships.

This will change the whole friendship dynamic and may lead to the end of a great friendship.

2. Overcome any attraction that you may have towards them

More than anything else, what you might be feeling is attraction and desire towards your best friend. It may or may not be romantic love. You need to actively change the way you think or feel about your friend and take action against it. This needs to be done, especially if you or your friend are already in a relationship with someone else.

3. Set appropriate boundaries with them

One crucial step on how not to fall in love with your best friend, is setting boundaries. If you don’t set appropriate boundaries, it may lead to uncomfortable situations in the future. Avoid holding hands and getting intimate with them. If you wish to remain friends, then don’t allow your feelings to come in between the friendship.

4. Spend more time in groups as opposed to one-on-one time with them

If you feel that you are falling in love with your friend, try and spend more time in groups rather than hanging out with them alone. Spending time with other friends ensures that you both don’t get time to get more personal or intimate. Being around others will also reduce some of the temptations and reduce the romantic tension between you both.

5. Try keeping your feelings to yourself 

If you reveal your true emotions to a friend who doesn’t feel the same way about you, it will lead to confusion and frustration in that person’s mind, or they might also feel uncomfortable. Therefore, you must avoid, especially if they are already in a relationship or have specifically told you that they are not interested.

See if spending less time with them allows the feelings to subside. You may be able to resolve your feelings on your own without involving them. 

6. Talk to a trusted person about your feelings

If not talking to your friend about your feelings is making you miserable, you may talk to a trusted person who you know can keep it under wraps and give you proper advice. 

7. Spend time away from the best friend

Make plans with your other friends or family and find distractions to keep you away from your best friend. If others are not available, make plans on your own, such as going on long walks, picking up a hobby, or enrolling in a class.

8. Ensure that your feelings towards them are valid

Falling in love is a personal and internal process, so you must evaluate your feelings towards them. Ponder upon the questions: Is this a temporary attraction? Does my friend like me in the same way that I like them?

Once you have clear answers, it will make your thought process smoother, too, and will help you in making any long-term decisions.

9. Accept the pain and emotions

If your best friend doesn’t have the same feelings as you have for them, be prepared to accept their rejection and the pain that comes with it. Unrequited love is very painful to accept; hence, talk it out to someone close and trustworthy, write your feelings in a journal, or seek professional help if needed.

10. Make yourself understand that it isn’t your fault

Developing romantic feelings for a friend is normal, and explain to yourself that it is not your fault. Spend time with yourself and your feelings and accept them. Seek help from trusted sources if you are unable to manage your emotions.

11. Write down your feelings

Journaling is a tool that makes you reflect on your thoughts once you write them down. You can record every thought, feeling, and emotion that is passing through your mind. Once you record your thoughts, you might get new perspectives and ways to deal with your problems.

12. Make an informed decision

Once you evaluate your feelings, make an informed decision about how you want this relationship to continue. Think whether your friend also feels the same way about you and think of the possible scenarios that might occur if they may or may not like you romantically.

13. Seek professional help if needed

If you feel that you are unable to come out of the emotional mess, do not hesitate to seek professional help from a counselor or a therapist.

14. Know that there are high stakes 

If the friendship is very valuable to you, know that the stakes are high if you lose this friendship due to one-sided romantic feelings.

15. Find out what you actually want from this connection

Sometimes, it might be a temporary attraction due to the current circumstances in your life. You may not be romantically attracted to them. Evaluate your feelings and think about what you actually want from the person.

16. Look for signs of whether they feel the same way

Do they want to spend more time with you? Do they try and flirt with you, leaving subtle hints that they are interested in you romantically? Think about all these things to find out whether they feel the same about you. You can also ask them directly if you are unable to decode their hints.

17. Think: Is it okay to simply let go?

If they tell you directly that they are not interested in you romantically, it is best to let go of them and stay friends.

18. Prioritize the friendship

If their friendship is most important to you, prioritize as opposed to pondering over romantic thoughts, especially if they are not interested.

19. Be prepared for awkwardness if they don’t feel the same way

If they don’t feel the same way and tell it you after you explain your feelings to them, be prepared for some awkward moments or moments of avoiding you or having uncomfortable conversations with you.

20. Don’t rant about it to others 

If they are direct and honest with you that they don’t like you romantically, then accept it. Talking to a trusted person is absolutely fine, but ranting out to everyone or talking negatively about them to others is not appropriate.

Closing Thoughts

We hope we answered the riddle – how not to fall in love with your best friend. Developing romantic feelings for a friend is a very normal thing. It can be challenging for you to keep your emotions at bay or confront your friend about the same. It may cause a rift in the friendship, but it might also lead to a new relationship if they are willing to. 

You need to evaluate your own feelings and theirs so that you come to a proper conclusion. Be honest with yourself and your friend, and take responsibility for keeping your friendship healthy.

Vishakha Naware

About Author

Vishakha Naware is a foreign language trainer, content and fiction writer and poet. Languages are not only her bread and butter, but also her passion. A former journalist by profession, she loves weaving stories and telling tales. She is also a keen observer and likes to use her observations in her writing. She is also an inquisitive traveler and a culture enthusiast who loves exploring and learning about new places and people. She loves cooking and baking, reading fiction books and binge-watching thrillers in her leisure time.

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