We have often heard about romantic breakups between partners, which is saddening! But did you know there is a friendship breakup, which is more disheartening than a romantic relationship? Studies have reflected that friendship flourishes as we grow old!
Friends protect your well-being even when a family falls short because we grow up together. Friends know us better than anyone else on the whole wide web. If they know our strengths, they know our shortcomings too!
Due to this, ending a friendship can be disheartening. But in some cases, it is essential too. Let’s explore all the aspects of friendship breakup and more.
Why do friendships break up
Friendship breakups do not happen out of the blue. It could be ongoing for years, or even a second is enough to exterminate people from your life. However, some common grounds spew poison in friendship. Let’s explore them.
1. A series of continual misunderstandings
Transparency is crucial in a healthy friendship, but when it starts crumbling, any relationship fades away. Once it is lost, misunderstandings start popping in, and friends literally have to explain their side of the story every time. Problems that can be sorted out with talks go unnoticed.
2. Time deprivation
Usually, this scenario comes in when either of the close friends gets romantically involved with someone else. After this leap, they obviously start spending time with their better halves and cannot spare time for their friends. Wherever they go, their partner follows, thus making the whole ambiance a bit awkward. Besides, friends start taking each other for granted, creating a stir.
3. Jealousy pangs
Jealousy is definitely a complex emotion. Sometimes it may yield great friendship but sometimes ruins everything. It depends on how the individual likes to take it, but it can act as slow poisoning when a friend gets a new phone, wins accolades, or receives a scholarship. Instead of feeling happy, a jealous friend will be boiling with anger from within. So, the appreciation goes down, along with friendship.
4. Long-distance relationship
Long-distance relationships are challenging to handle. When a friend moves out and relocates to a different city or country, maintaining those promises to “keep in touch” might become challenging to handle. You really need a solid gut to keep up promises because time zone change, new people step in, and these are some factors that lead to friendship fading.
5. Third person involvement
Third wheels are vicious. When a family member, girlfriend, boyfriend, or mutual friend starts overly getting involved in the friendship, there are chances of a tiff. Gossiping, ill talks or even a fit of jealousy could be the root cause of infiltrating the friendship. So, it’s best to trust your instinct and not a person.
6. Emotional drain
When your friend isn’t around you when you need them, the most is the first step toward a friendship breakup. When you are low, you need someone to hear you without passing judgment. You wish someone could lend an ear, which usually happens when you are good friends. However, when such gestures disappear, and one-sided friendships pop in, acknowledge that your friendship breakup is closing in.
7. A physical avalanche
Fights are common in friendships, but when they go way too out of hand, that’s a severe predicament. Besides, if things get physical, then it’s best to stay away from such people in your life. Even if you decide to remain friends, it won’t be the same again because “fight” will keep coming back and poisoning the relationship.
How to get over a friendship breakup?
So, now we know the reasons for a friendship breakup, which can be painful. But life doesn’t stop for anyone, and eventually, we must come to terms with it. So, let’s see how you can!
1. Accept that the friendship is over
Accepting is the most challenging task ever. We do not wish to accept the fact that things are over and it’s natural. However, we forget that not accepting the situation may adversely affect mental health. So, when the friendship ends, give some time and accept it. Take your time to grieve over the loss of the relationship, but then accept it because that seems the best for you!
2. Have a closure, if possible
We expect closure in romantic relationships; why not in friendships, too? It’s good to have breakup conversations and pour your heart into why things went awry. The best part of this conversation is things won’t be blurry anymore because you won’t be interacting with them in the future. So, at least something will be sorted, and you will ably ascertain the reason for breaking up a friendship.
3. Start mingling with new people
You deserve friendship, and you deserve good people. So, meet new people, especially the ones who share the same interest as yours. Broaden your horizon, break free of all inhibitions, spend time with them and start interacting with people. Most importantly, don’t let anything hamper your self-esteem in any way. Stand tall and don’t lose confidence in yourself.
4. Evaluate boundaries
This condition may arise, especially when you have a huge friend group. “I broke up with one; will my other friends ghost me? – is a doubt most of the friends come across. Actually, this condition is a reality check for you. If your friends after a breakup ghost you, then they were never really your friends, and if they don’t – the result is obvious.
So, this is the time to assess your friendship boundaries once again. When you are meeting friends in a group, many might want you to patch up, but if you are not willing, convey this to them. Set boundaries in a way that this topic doesn’t come up again. Does a friendship breakup hamper the dynamics with others or vice versa is something that will help you know who your true friends are!
5. Think about the things that will help you to move on
It is imperative to assess the repercussions of a friendship breakup. If some gifts are bothering you, remove them. If photos bring back bad memories, delete them. Take a break from everything and improve your mental and physical health. Go for a complete detox from social media, too, because those bad moments might keep coming back.
Alongside this, indulge in self-love and things that give you happiness. Indeed, a great way to deal with a breakup.
How to restore friendship after a breakup?
Can you become friends after a breakup? Well, in some situations, this looks debatable. But if you wish, keep reading from the bottom of your heart.
1. Have an honest conversation before starting off
Before kickstarting the friendship, it’s advisable to have an honest conversation. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you think the friendship will last after a bitter breakup? Does your ex want to be friends again? If they do not wish to get back, don’t force them. Please respect their decision and move on in life.
2. Exclude people who are pessimistic about this decision
After hearing this decision, many people will come up to you and discourage you from taking this decision. Their decision might be valid owing to the circumstances that happened in the past. However, trust your gut and do what is right for you. You might have to consider their points, but the decision lies wholly in your hands.
3. Don’t rush into anything
You know what has happened in the past. After a breakup, trust issues and bitterness might keep lingering for a while. So, don’t rush in expediating the relationship. Start with occasional texting or phone calls. Once you ascertain things are getting better and comfortable, start going out for face-to-face meetings and planning coffee breaks.
4. Set realistic boundaries
Rekindling friendship after a breakup looks difficult practically. So, don’t fall for the same mistakes again. Instead, set boundaries right from day one. The boundaries might sound silly and meager but set them. Most importantly, do not bring up past arguments or situations. Go for a fresh start! If you have a platonic relationship, avoid physical contact for a while.
Over to you….
So, this was all about friendship breakup, dealing with it, and recovering from it. Coping up with a friendship breakup is definitely cumbersome but possible. Just follow these tips, and you should be fine. As long as you maintain boundaries, trust, and respect, handling any friendship is easy!