Navigating Male Female Friendship Boundaries When Married
Friendship is a vital part of life, but even one misstep can bring everything crashing down. Especially after marriage, the dynamics of friendship can change. However, you can save yourself from this hassle by maintaining male-female friendship boundaries when married. With this, you can maintain trust, emotional safety, and respect in both your friendships and your marriage. So, let’s get started with it.
Healthy Male Female Friendship Boundaries When Married
In any relationship – be it friendship or marriage – boundaries play a key role in defining what’s acceptable and what is not. When married, establishing physical and emotional boundaries, especially in male-female friendships, can be beneficial in navigating this challenge. Let’s see what they are –
1. Prioritize your marriage
One of the key male-female friendship boundaries when married is to prioritize your spouse. It’s essential to spend quality time with your spouse.
According to research, the couples who spend significant time talking reported better satisfaction and positivity. So, even during busy schedules or outings with friends, spare time for your spouse.
2. Maintain transparency in marriage
Being open with your partner is crucial and non-negotiable. If you’re going out with a male friend or female friend, please let them know.
Don’t talk secretively on the phone with your friend of the opposite sex. Because hiding or being vague about a friendship with the opposite sex can create problems and erode trust.
It would be best if you introduced your friend to your spouse, as that will establish openness and comfort. Above all, if you think there’s a need to hide – then that’s a red flag.
3. Don’t overshare with your friends
When faced with a problem, we tend to share everything with friends, especially those of the opposite sex. But that’s totally wrong. Confiding about marriage problems with your friends is like you are forming an emotional reliance on them.
Instead of sorting it out with your spouse, you will turn to your friend every time for a solution – which is wrong. All these are best reserved for your spouse. You have to spend a whole lifetime with your spouse. So, isn’t it better to share with them than with a friend? THINK!
4. Avoid frequent hangouts with friends
Choosing group activities over solo hangouts with friends is one of the key male-female friendship boundaries when married. Such solo outings can alleviate mistrust and misunderstanding. By doing this, you maintain both your friendship and your marriage.
5. Respect your spouse’s emotions
Every person has a comfort level. If your spouse is pointing out the discomfort with your friend, respect them. Some individuals are introverts and don’t prefer to mingle.
So, it’s your job as a spouse to help them find comfort and not force them into mingling. Respect their view and adjust accordingly. Mutual reassurance and action can help maintain trust in marriage.
6. Keeping a balance of time boundaries
It’s imperative to strike a balance between time spent with your spouse and time spent with friends. When you are single, there are no time restrictions with friends of the opposite sex. You had the freedom to text and call at any time.
However, when you get married, your freedom gets divided. Your communication with your friend should be balanced, taking into account the time you have for your family and spouse.
Yes, friends also face mental turmoil, and they might need your time at their perilous times. In such instances, keep your spouse informed about it to avoid any misconceptions.
7. Don’t be friends with exes
Many people believe it’s acceptable to remain friends with their exes. But they don’t understand the depth of the danger they are inviting. They don’t know they are brewing a recipe for disaster for themselves and their spouse.
Though you have broken up, feelings stay. According to research, on average, it can take around 4.18 years for people to feel that their emotional attachment to an ex has faded by half.
So, anything can happen, and feelings tend to rebound. So, throw the idea and dissolve the mantra that “exes can be friends.”
8. Be mindful of the physical boundaries
Friendly hugs may be acceptable in specific contexts, such as when a friend needs emotional support, in which case you may offer a hug.
However, anything that goes beyond it, such as flirting and accidental closeness, can lead to crossing lines quickly. So, it’s best to keep physical affection respectful and appropriate.
9. Don’t compare your friend with your spouse
Friends are different, and spouses are different. Your guy friend or a female friend could be more perfect than your spouse. But that doesn’t mean you start comparing them.
Just avoid saying, “Aww, I wish my spouse was just like you.” This statement can have a profound impact on your life. It also shows how emotionally confused you are and how disgraceful you are toward your partner.
10. Try to have a mutual friendship
Try and make mutual friends. Try to have the same friends as your spouse, which can strengthen your relationship and maintain a sense of inclusivity. Shared experiences are always better, and there won’t be a tinge of misperception or mistrust.
11. Reassess the friendship if boundaries blur
If you find yourself thinking too much about your friends, wanting to spend time with them, or feeling guilty about hiding things from your spouse, then take a step back and reflect.
It’s time for you to pull up your socks and give time to your marriage. In such a situation, your marriage should be your top priority.
Signs That Your Friendship Is Turning Inappropriate After Marriage
- You are hiding conversations about your friend from your spouse
- You are talking secretively with your friend
- You are emotionally relying more on your friend than your spouse
- You fantasize about your opposite-sex friend or feel butterflies in your stomach when you think about them
- You meet them despite your spouse’s oppose
Can Friendship Last After Following These Male-Female Friendship Boundaries When Married?
Yes, absolutely! As long as you define these boundaries clearly and respect them, you can cherish both relationships. Platonic friendship can flourish without threatening the integrity of marriage. However, for that, you need to make an effort, stay emotionally mature, engage in transparent communication, and demonstrate a strong commitment to your spouse.
Over to you…
Friendship across genders is never a problem – the blurring of boundaries is! Sometimes, it’s difficult to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. Having this understanding is essential when establishing male-female friendship boundaries when married.
You can have a wonderful friendship with the opposite sex after marriage, but you gotta be mindful of it emotionally and physically. Ultimately, your commitment to your spouse is what will help you nurture other relationships in life.
