How To Help a Friend Going Through a Breakup – Tips for Creating a Safe Space!
Undoubtedly, breakups are one of the most unpleasant experiences for anyone. If your friend is also caught in this vicious circle, you might wonder how to help a friend going through a breakup. Whether it was a long-term relationship or a short one, a breakup is emotionally draining.
Hence, your support may work wonders if your friend is going through one. You can’t take their pain away, but you can help them ease and feel heard. So, here’s a compassionate take on how to support a friend going through a breakup.
A Compassionate Guide on How to Help a Friend Going Through a Breakup
Let’s get started…
1. Just be a good listener
There are so many thoughts lingering in their heads. When a friend is going through a breakup, understand they are not in the mood to seek solutions.
They just want a listening ear where they can spill the beans. Sometimes, your silence is equal to a thousand words. So, just hear them out. Don’t interrupt them or give them advice; just give them a lending ear.
2. Sometimes, just being there for a friend is golden
When it comes to how to help a friend going through a breakup, you do not necessarily have to talk, hug, or plan some big gestures.
Just sit beside them, watch a show, or just be physically present there. Your presence in itself is very powerful. If you aren’t around, a message or call can make them less lonely.
3. Give them positive vibes
When your friend is in pain, do something out of the box to make them forget those bitter memories. From time to time, remind them how strong they are. Narrate them about incidents where they have shown their mental strength and tackled all obstacles.
Alongside this, share some inspirational quotes, podcasts, or music that will uplift their mood. Grab their favorite coffee or ice cream to encourage small joys. Just remind them that this is not the end; life is still beautiful.
4. Offer them a safe space to vent out
Apart from being an active listener, understand that they have immense anger, frustration, or hurt inside them. They want to vent out without fear of judgment, and you should be the medium to let them vent.
Offer them a safe emotional space that will allow them to realize the pain instead of bottling it up. Let them vent and validate their feelings, sadness, and heartbreak to ease their pain.
5. Don’t be judgmental
Don’t pass judgment about the fiasco that happened. Even if they made the mistake of being in a toxic relationship, don’t pass any judgments or don’t blame them by saying, “I told you so.”
At this point in time, your friend needs compassion and not criticism. Just make minute changes – replace judgment with empathy; it will help them trust you more deeply.
6. Remind them about the good times
No, no, you don’t have to remind them about their ex – but about themselves. They have had good times with their family, friends, and coworkers.
Talk about their achievements and some of their best memories. Show them their real and positive side – the one they were before the breakup. Sometimes, people tend to forget how awesome they are; as a friend, your job is to remind them.
7. Ask them to indulge in activities they love
Every individual has a set of likes and dislikes. Whenever that person is at their lowest, they tend to forget the activities they like the most.
But as a friend, you must encourage them to reconnect with hobbies that give them happiness. Invite them to paint, dance, trek, write, or just a nice game. Indulging them in doing what they enjoy the most can help them rebuild their sense of identity.
8. Respect their healing timeline
It doesn’t matter how long the relationship was. The person going through a breakup has no timeline to heal. Seriously, there’s no right amount of time to get over someone.
Healing is messy, so don’t rush them into forgetting everything. Also, don’t make comparisons like, “When I had a breakup, I bounced back so easily. Why is it taking time for you?” Understand, grief takes time. So, you have to be patient with them.
9. Don’t push them to date again immediately
As mentioned above, healing takes time. So, it is imperative for you as a friend not to push them into dating scenes. In fact, they don’t need a rebound. They just need time to heal themselves.
If they are themselves getting into it, then as a friend, guide them and ask them to take some time to make a decision. Don’t say statements like, “If you want to get over, just get into another relationship.” Let them discover themselves before making a decision.
10. Make them realize their strengths
Every person is strong. It’s just that when they are in pain and grief, they don’t see their stronger side. Hence, as a friend, it’s your job to help them see their resilience.
You have to remind them about the times when they showed courage, growth, and emotional honesty. Compliment them on the times when they were the strongest and share stories about how they overcame all the tough phases. Such instances will help them gain confidence.
11. Check on them regularly
One key aspect when it comes to how to help a friend going through a breakup, is checking them regularly. Once life becomes normal, we tend to forget. But breakups are heartbreaking, and your friend might still need your help.
Some days will be good, while some might be bad. So, keep a check on them. Text and call them regularly to find out about their whereabouts. Your consistent presence reminds them they are not alone – even after weeks of breakup.
12. Allow them to seek professional help
Despite all the efforts, if you still think that friendly conversations aren’t helping, you should encourage them to get professional help. If there’s prolonged anxiety, loneliness, or hopelessness, and they are just unable to come out of it, therapy is the best.
Some corners of the heart can be healed only by therapy. Research therapists for them; it would be best if you were with them for their first session. Let them know the importance of therapy. Make them understand there’s no shame in seeking professional help.
Final Thoughts
There will be a point when your friend feels that their whole world has come crumbling down. Their world has ended and become empty. But YOU, as a friend, can heal them with kindness, empathy, patience, and unwavering presence.
It’s not necessary to carry their pain; just walk beside them, hold them tight, and help them heal. So, if you want to know how to help a friend going through a breakup, definitely refer to this guide.
