The goal of any friendship is to share likes and interests with the other person, spend some quality time, and have enriching life experiences. A good friend supports you in your ups and downs and berates you when you do something wrong. However, a toxic friendship not only affects your well-being negatively but also affects your mental health and your self-esteem.

To know whether you really are in a toxic friendship, let us explore what are the signs of a toxic friendship.

What Are the Signs of a Toxic Friendship?

Healthy friendships involve meaningful conversations; they make the other person feel valued and radiate positivity. On the contrary, toxic friends belittle the other person and engage in harmful and controlling behavior. So, let us explore more about the signs of a toxic friendship in this article.

1.      They insult you and tease you regularly 

One of the tell-tale signs of a toxic friend is when they repeatedly tease or insult the other person despite knowing that it is harming or hurting them. Joking and teasing are a part of a friendship, but when overdone and especially if done on purpose is extremely toxic and harmful.

The next time anyone puts you down or hurts your feelings with their “jokes,” explain how they hurt you. True friends will feel bad and apologize for hurting you. However, toxic friends will tell you to “chill” and that they were “just joking” or call you out for being “too sensitive.”

2.      They keep on playing the victim

They take you on a guilt trip with them and make you feel guilty for the bad things happening to them. They keep on presenting themselves as a victim and feel that the whole world is out to get them.

Even if they have real issues, they don’t do anything to change the situation and constantly complain about it. You may first feel concerned for them, then you might feel frustrated, and after a while, a feeling of resentment for them might develop in you.

3.      They never take the blame

Even if they make a mistake or hurt you, toxic friends will never take the blame. They might make you feel guilty and put the blame on you for the situations that they are in.

4.      They manipulate you

The red flags of manipulative friends are guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and passive-aggressive behavior. They might use different methods to get things down from you to make you behave in a certain way or trick you into doing things you might not have done otherwise.

Such toxic friends leave you feeling confused and muddled about your behavior. If you feel this way, you might be experiencing emotional abuse from a toxic friend.

5.      They never seem happy for you and might be jealous of you

Being with them feels like a competition. It feels like it’s always you against them. In healthy friendships, the friends celebrate each other’s wins and are genuinely happy for each other, whereas in toxic friendships, the toxic friends constantly put you down and try to sabotage your success. 

They might also try to undermine or embarrass you by telling you to do things that might not be good for you.

6.      They don’t respect your boundaries

Setting boundaries and respecting them is not a strong suit of a toxic person. A toxic friend doesn’t respect your boundaries and consistently disrespects them. They might not even pay attention to your multiple pleas.

Not respecting boundaries is also a sign that the friend is very codependent on you and can’t function without your support. So, it is important to set firm boundaries with such friends and not feel guilty about it. Be firm yet gentle.

7.      They always want or need something from you

Whether spending time with them or lending them money, they might keep wanting something or the other from you. They might also make you feel guilty if you don’t provide for them. They might also keep a list of things you’ve done until now in the friendship and use it against you later.

8.      They don’t want you to spend time with others

They might get possessive, jealous, or even downright mean when you spend time with others. They make you feel remorseful for not being there for them and might dismiss any efforts you have made for them.

9.      They always criticize you

Genuine friends tell you when you are wrong or give you constructive feedback. However, if someone is constantly being negative and critical about everything you do, it is a tell-tale sign that they are a toxic friend.

10.  They don’t respect your values

Toxic friends pressure you into doing things that you won’t generally do. They might tell you to drink more often or date a certain kind of person you normally wouldn’t date, share a secret with them, or even open up to them about something you aren’t yet ready for.

When our core values aren’t respected, it affects our self-esteem, and toxic friends play on these exact emotions to get what they want.

11.  They are dishonest

They constantly engage in lies and deceit. Not being ready to share something with a friend is perfectly fine, but they are lying about things because they are jealous of you; it is a sign of them being toxic. 

A toxic relationship thrives on lies and dishonesty, but you haven’t signed up for it, so this is a sign for you to bid adieu to this friendship. A friendship is a space where you feel safe, not a place where you constantly have to walk on eggshells.

12.  You have outgrown them

Sometimes, the other person isn’t being toxic, but you have simply outgrown them. Hence, what they do or say might feel toxic to you.

As we progress in life, our dynamics with other people change. It can also happen with someone you have been friends with for a long time. Accept this fact and move on.

13.  You feel drained after spending time with them

After spending time with them or even after a telephone conversation with them, if you feel mentally and emotionally drained, it is a sign that they are toxic to you.

Toxic friendships can take a huge toll on your mental health as you are always trying to please them or convince them. This keeps you from doing other things properly or spending time with others. 

14.  They don’t empathize with you or accept you for who you are

If they go cold when you are upset or seem unconcerned when you are having a hard time, they are not being good friends. They will try to fast-forward to more fun conversations and ignore your problems.

Toxic friends will not value you for who you are and will always try to get something from you that benefits them.

On a Concluding Note 

So, what are the signs of a toxic friendship? We hope you got your answers. Understand, healthy friendships are supposed to elevate you in life and not put you down. Don’t blame yourself if you encounter toxic friends in life. It means you simply care too much for others, and others don’t reciprocate the same way.

If a friend displayed some or all the earlier red flags, they might be toxic for you. Look out for your mental health and well-being by setting firm boundaries or distancing yourself from them, if needed. If nothing works out, reach out to a trusted person or a clinical psychologist for professional help.

The post What Are the Signs of a Toxic Friendship – The Ultimate Survival Guide appeared first on The Friendly Buzzer.

Friendships enrich our lives, give us a sense of belonging, and boost our mental health. But if drama and trouble have been following you when it comes to friendships, then instead of blaming others, it might be wise to look into the mirror first and find out whether you have any red flags that you might be unaware of. 

Ways on How to Know If You’re the Problem in A Friendship

Let us explore the signs to find out whether you really are a problem in a friendship.

1. You are needy and cling too much for emotional support

True friends rely on each other for advice and support. While it might be difficult to figure out whether you are always needy, if you constantly ask others for solutions to your problems or look up to your friends to fulfill your needs and weaknesses, then you may be the needy one.

We all need someone to vent out to and rant to. However, it is important to remember that your friends are not your therapists and may not have answers to all your questions. You need to be considerate of their emotional needs, too, and ask them for their permission before venting out your negative feelings.

2. You keep criticizing your friends

A good friend suggests changes in us and gives tips when needed. Honest and helpful feedback from friends could help you a lot. But when the criticism gets too hard to handle for the other person, that is a sign of a toxic friendship. 

If you constantly berate a friend about their choice of clothing or partner or major, what they’ve decided to study, how they cook, or the way they speak to others, then you might be a toxic friend. 

3. You keep on getting involved in drama

Having drama and arguments in a friendship from time to time is quite common. However, if the drama is following you wherever you go, then, my friend, you might be causing it!

Arguments, debates, and conflicts are common in friendships, but you need to dig deeper if you keep on having them with every friend of yours.

4. You have high standards

Every person has different expectations from a friend. Spending time, doing an activity together, and supporting each other might be a few of the expectations that we have from friends.

Instead of accepting the differences, if you get passive-aggressive or distance yourself from them, then you might be the toxic person in this friendship. You may have control issues that you need to keep in check.

5. You end friendships too soon

Not all friendships last forever. Every friendship goes through ups and downs, and you might outgrow a friendship leading to its end. But if almost all your friendships end too soon because of reasons such as having arguments or shutting them out, then it’s time to introspect.

Fighting and arguments are frustrating. It is important to have honest conversations with friends and find solutions together.

6. Your friendship circle keeps changing

You might have moved to a new city or started a new hobby—these could be some of the reasons for your changing friend circle. But if you see this happening every few months or years, there could be an issue.

Healthy friendships pass the test of time and distance. Keeping in touch with old friends while making new ones is of utmost importance.

7. You break promises

Constantly breaking promises that you have made and letting others down is a big red flag. Commit to things and make reasonable promises.

8. You make conversations about you

Friends are a safe space to vent out and share your issues, but if you constantly turn conversations to yourself and make it about you, it could be off-putting to others.

9. You pressure your friends to do things in the name of friendship

“I’m your friend. Won’t you do this much for me?”—If you find yourself saying this very often to your friends, you are not only sending them on a guilt trip but also being a bad friend. Making them feel bad about something they are not able to do for you is not cool.

10. You get jealous of your friends

Are you truly happy when your friend is happy or achieves something? If the answer is no, you might be jealous of them. Clinical psychologists consider jealousy as a feeling that is evoked when someone is better off than you. 

11. You let your friends make bad decisions

Are your friends in toxic relationships? Are they making bad financial decisions? If the answer is yes, and you are not doing anything about it, signs are that you are a bad friend. As a friend, you need to tell your friends about the bad decisions they are making. Whether they act upon it or not is their choice.

12. You offer unsolicited advice

Helping is great, but giving advice that nobody asked for is not so great! Most of the time, people just want to be listened to and not lectured about. 

13. You gossip about friends behind their back

Sharing things that someone told you in confidence and talking about friends behind their backs is a red flag behavior. 

14. You don’t show up when they need you

If you cancel plans when you’re not in the mood to, if you don’t show up when your friends need you the most, if you don’t offer your shoulder when someone needs it—all these are behaviors that you need to look into and introspect.

If you cancel plans when you’re not in the mood to, if you don’t show up when your friends need you the most, if you don’t offer your shoulder when someone needs it—all these are behaviors that you need to look into and introspect.

Alongside this, if you’re always late, cancel plans at the last moment, don’t return calls or texts, or drop plans because you found someone better to hang out with—then you might be a toxic friend. 

15. You complain or get upset when things don’t go your way

If you constantly get upset when people don’t do what you say or when things don’t go your way, it is time for a self-check! Getting upset is absolutely fine, but getting upset over every small thing is not healthy.

Parting Thoughts

Several signs might suggest that you are not a good friend, but if you are reading this article, it is a positive sign! You can work on yourself and your friendships and make them more meaningful.

Honest and open communication will make your friendships more secure, and you can tackle the issues concerning the friendship in a healthier way.

The post How To Know If You’re the Problem in A Friendship – 15 Signs appeared first on The Friendly Buzzer.