How To Fix an Argument with Your Best Friend – Survival Guide
When you go through a break-up in your romantic relationship, you usually turn to your best friend for solace. But what to do if you have had a huge argument or a fall-out with your best friend? You have come to the right place! Let’s explore how to fix an argument with your best friend and how to preserve your friendship.
Best friends are often our “go-to” people; we share almost everything with them. They are a huge part of our lives. So, when we disagree or dispute with them, it feels like the world has fallen apart. It may sound dramatic, but many times, it is true!
Amazing Ways on How to Fix an Argument with Your Best Friend
So, let’s dive in and see how you can get over that big fight.
1. Take a deep breath and calm down
After a big fight, it is imperative to calm down first. In heated situations, our first reaction is to lash out at the other person, but this just escalates situations. So, to prevent any further damage to the already problematic situation, take a moment to yourself.
You could go for a walk, listen to music, sketch something, meditate, or take a warm bath. Soothing your nerves will help you think with more clarity.
2. Talk things out with them
When you disagree with someone, it’s natural to feel like ghosting or stopping contact with them. But this will only make things worse. Communication is key in any relationship, and if you are very close to this person, you might already know how to approach the person and discuss your argument with them.
Talk to them and try to find out what their point of view about the whole thing is.
3. Give them and yourself some space
After putting your point across to them and hearing them out, give them some space to think over everything, if needed. Some time for healing the wounds will do good to them as well as to you and help you to feel good again.
4. Don’t let others influence your decisions
Yes, talking out with mutual friends is a healthy way of finding solutions to your BFF’s problems. But don’t let all the advice cloud your own judgment! You are the only one who knows how special this friendship is for you and how the absence of it will impact your life.
So, listen to everything people have to offer, but only take in the practical things and apply them to your situation.
5. Do not talk negative about your best friend to others
It might be tempting to trash out your best friend to others after a big fight, but be very careful about what you tell about your friend to others. Do not say bad and negative things because they might feel hurt when they find it out later. Try to be factual to obtain impartial advice from others. Try and take a deep breath before you share anything with anyone.
6. Have realistic expectations
Be prepared for the other person not having the same thought process as you. Try to find out how serious they are to repair the friendship and move on in life. Also, be prepared to have some tough conversations with them. You might not be able to answer all their questions or get any closure if they refuse to talk to you!
Understand that even though the other person is on board and gets the matter fixed, things might not be the same as they were before.
7. Accept that friends fight and try and understand why
Disagreements and quarrels are common in any kind of relationship. There could be multiple reasons as to why someone might fight with you. Try and figure out what the reason could be.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Was there a difference of opinion or difference in core values?
- Did they make you feel excluded, or did you make them feel excluded?
- Was spending time together an issue?
- Are you feeling stressed and taking it out on them, or vice versa?
- Are you or they having difficulty empathizing with each other’s situation?
Pondering these questions might help you figure out what exactly went wrong with you and your bestie and move you toward finding a viable solution.
8. Try and think about both sides of the argument
Once you have calmed down after the argument, note what bothered you and them both! Try writing both perspectives and, if possible, talk about it with them.
9. Think and remember about the reasons why you both were best friends
Jot down all the good characteristics of the person and how they have made your life better. This will help you look at the positives amid all the negatives you are considering. Once you get a whole picture of them and their importance or lack thereof in your life, it will be easier for you to figure out your next move.
10. Ask a mutual friend to help you
Even after following all the above steps, if you feel that you still cannot get a bigger picture of your friendship or cannot think of ways to resolve the conflict, you can ask a trusted mutual friend for help.
Contact someone trustworthy, knows both of you well and is unbiased. Ask them to sit with you both as you voice your concerns and help you provide solutions.
11. Ponder whether the friendship is worth saving
After weighing all options, decide whether it is worth it. Just because you have been best friends for a long time doesn’t mean you must endure everything they do or say. Think whether the friendship is worth salvaging or whether it has become toxic. Have you drifted apart over the years? What is it bringing to the table?
Once you think over these questions, some answers will come to you sooner. Moreover, once you have decided that the friendship with your bestie is very important to you and you want to preserve it, come what may, then think about steps to resolve the conflict.
How to resolve the conflict effectively?
Let us explore effective ways of resolving the arguments and preserving the friendship:
- Set up a time to have a one-on-one conversation with them. If calling them feels too overwhelming, text or email them and schedule a meeting. You can tell them that the conflict is taking you a lot of space in your mind, and talking it out might help both of you.
- Share your point of view without blaming the other person. Use “I” statements such as, “I feel neglected when you spend more time with other friends.”
- Listen to them actively when they share their views. Do not distract or disturb them, and maintain eye contact with them.
- Focus on the issue at hand and don’t talk about unrelated past conflicts and issues. It will only make matters worse.
- Compromise with each other, but the compromise should be reasonable and not take a toll on your or their mental health.
- Apologize to them if you find out that you were in the wrong. Forgive them if they apologize and if you feel that their apology is real.
Parting Thoughts
Friends are integral to our lives, and best friends are like our twin flames. After going through so many ups and downs together in life, it is important to look past the conflicts, find common ground, and preserve the friendship.
However, if things get too toxic, you should also have the courage to walk away from it all! It is vital to evaluate the situation with your best friend and act accordingly.
