Gender and Friendship

Don’t Be Fooled: Know the Signs Of a Narcissistic Female Friend

13 Signs of a Narcissistic Female Friend

Friendships are meant to uplift you and not pull you down. But what if a friend leaves you feeling emotionally drained, anxious, or insecure more often than uplifted? And if you are reading this, you are here because you are looking for signs of a narcissistic female friend​.

Narcissism isn’t always evident. In fact, some narcissists are charming, seemingly generous, and socially skilled. But underneath their façade, they are driven by insecurity, control, and the need for constant admiration.

Instead, you must know that understanding the signs of a narcissistic female friend is the first step to protecting your emotional well-being. Let’s see how.


Signs Of a Narcissistic Female Friend​ To Lookout For!

Let’s explore the most evident signs of a narcissistic female friend and what they might mean for you.

1. Always craving for attention

One of the classic signs of a narcissistic female friend is grabbing the spotlight. No matter what you are discussing, nagging or crying out loud, it is all about her.

For example, if you are talking about a breakup, she will turn the conversation toward her and start her sob story and make it all about her. She might even one-up your pain or happiness by turning the heads toward her.

2. She is always the victim

No matter what she does, she is always the victim. By the way, narcissists are good at this. They portray you always as the “villain”, while they are always the “innocent” one.

Most importantly, they have a habit of omitting stories, twisting truths, and narrating their storyline that shows their innocence. God forbid, if you question a narcissist female friend, she’ll start being defensive and convincingly prove her innocence.

3. Backhanded compliments and she, go hand-in-hand

A narcissistic female friend doesn’t compliment you the way you want them to. In fact, her compliments are flooded with sarcasm and subtle jabs, which are meant to make you insecure like never before.

Statements like, “Oh my god, that dress surprisingly looks good on you,” or “Wow, I never thought you were a type that would get a promotion ever!”

So, vicious, right?

4. You are her biggest competition

One of the most frustrating signs of a narcissistic female friend is that she sees you as a competitor rather than a friend.

If you are heading for a party and she knows you look better than her, she will try everything to outshine you, putting on the best makeup, dress, and whatnot. It’s not about fashion alone, she will do her best to overshadow you in relationships, accomplishments, and social status.

5. Her kindness has a secret disclaimer

BE AWARE, if you come across a narcissist’s female friend showering kindness, because she has some ulterior motives for sure. Yes, narcissists rarely give anything to anyone without expecting something in return.

If your friend is complimenting you, helping or supporting, rest assured, she is going to use this favor to have something in return. Otherwise, she is doing it to look superior to you.

6. Boundaries are blurred for her

A significant indicator when it comes to listing signs of a narcissistic female friend is the blurring of boundaries.

This female friend will never respect your boundaries, overstep your privacy, and make you uncomfortable in every way possible. Furthermore, she will expect you to be available 24/7, no matter how busy you are! She will not hear no for an answer.

7. She is a gossipmonger

Gossip sometimes is harmless. Instead, it can be cool if you are genuinely having fun and discussing meager issues.

However, it gets serious when your friend constantly shares your private things with the world or criticizes you unreasonably behind your back; then that’s a red flag for sure. Such an attitude is not only careless but also spiteful, disrespectful, and damaging.  

8. She doesn’t want you to be friends with others

Ask a coworker to hang out or grab a coffee with a colleague, your narcissistic friend will be on her toes to guilt-trip you to the fullest. Well, you might mistake it for love, but no, my friend, it is sheer controlling behavior.

She doesn’t want you to hang out with anyone other than her. Because your independence is a threat to her influence, she’ll create drama and make you so guilty, so much so that you’ll call off the plans.

Once that is done, there will be an evil smile on her face for sure.

9. She is good at gaslighting

According to Psychology Today, “Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.”

In this case, a narcissistic female friend will tell you things and after a few days will twist those facts, present them in a way that you misunderstood them or tag you as being “too sensitive.”

At one point, you will start doubting your perception, memory and yourself overall. Indeed, this is one of the most damaging signs of a narcissistic female friend.

10. Her apologies are fake

Even if she does anything wrong, she won’t apologize easily. And if she does, it will be fake and manipulative. Often, an apology will land on you with excuses or a tinge of sarcasm. Clearly, a lack of apology is like a lack of emotional accountability.

11. The word “empathy” doesn’t exist in her dictionary

Empathy in friendship is all about genuinely caring and understanding other people’s feelings. But this word doesn’t exist in a narcissist’s dictionary.

At one point, she will pretend that she cares, but it’s often shallow and short-lived. She may listen to you only if she has something to gain from it, or she will dismiss it altogether.

12. She is a different person in public and private

Indeed, one of the trickiest signs of a narcissistic female friend is her presence. She will act all bubbly, sweet, understanding, and helpful in public, thus earning an image of the ‘perfect and true friend.’

However, behind the closed doors, she turns into a critic, gossipmonger, or plays some foolish mind games to guilt-trip you.

This dual personality at times creates confusion about which façade to believe and how to convince others about her negativity. Thus, another form of manipulation.

13. She drains you emotionally

Not every emotional drain is obvious. However, over time, the continual drama, control, or badmouthing will exhaust you. The constant walk on eggshells to avoid triggering her mood will drain you.

But hang on, if you feel light-headed and light-hearted when she isn’t around. Then, friend, that’s the most significant sign of a narcissistic female friend.


Over to you…

Navigating the complexities of a friendship isn’t easy, especially when you are involved emotionally. But recognizing the signs of a narcissistic female friend will help you make healthier choices while making new friends.

It will not only improve your mental health but also boost your self-worth. Always remember, true friendship is all about uplifting each other and accepting each other as we are, not the other way around.

Neelambari Salvi

About Author

Born and raised in a family of doctors, I chose a different path. Although I hold a Master’s Degree in Computer Management, my true passion has always been journalism and then content writing. Over the years, I have created high-quality content but today, I am deeply immersed in SEO, communications, and content strategy, all of which I find incredibly fascinating. Beyond my professional life, I’m an amateur shutterbug, a food enthusiast, and a fitness and travel freak.

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